Last working day - Random Thoughts !!!

Today was my last day in Motorola, the company I was working for the past 3 years. The way things have progressed over the last few months and given the fact that I was myself looking for a change, I was actually looiing forward to this day. That is before I had actually put down papers. It has been over a month now since I have put down papers. And today is the final day. For the intial few days I have to admit I was ecstatic, having finally getting rid of the 'juggernaut' that our team is. But the ecstacy was ephemereal. As days passed I started feeling restless. The endless browsing & mailing sessions began to get into my nerves. Finally I realized. Office is a place to work. So unless u r doing that u cannot be comfortable for long. And then as days progressed a feeling of nostalgia overcame me. I think it was partially because a sort of disassociation team members started to creep in. Now many people may have reasons to think that I was not that involved with the team. But as far as I am concerned I always had my heart in the team. I related well with the folks here especially my peers & juniors. There was a camaraderie and bonhomie which I shared. I started to miss those times. I always put up a face showing that I am a happy person now that I was out of the 'grill'. Others actually started believing so. But that wasnt meant to be. Two years is a long time to develop a sort of bonding unconsciously. You do not realize it as long as u r a part of that. But once u step out u begin to realize it. Human mind cannot accept change graciosly. Even if the change is percepted to be for good. There are strings which tend to pull u back , questions that come to your mind, thougts which bog u down. I think thats only human. An having realized that we put up a brave face go through the 'passing phase' like a 'spirit' shutting ur mind off from the 'present' and gaze only at the future. We start believing in the 'cliche' which says ' whatever happens is for good'. Although the present state of things does not allow ur mind to prepare for the change tht future holds for u, u just become a mute spectator. U neither protest not make n effort to undo the change that is gonna happen. You just let it happen and pray sincerely that the change is for the best of all of us.